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Friday November 17, 2017

Many people feel guilty about moving forward after the death of a loved one. There are many questions: Is it okay to laugh? Is it okay to smile? Is it okay to continue living life? Why do I feel guilty when I start to live again? These questions are normal and a part of the process of moving forward that numerous people face. 

Much of our lives has been spent with our loved ones. We have made many memories. They have become a large part of our lives. When we lose that loved one, it seems like a part of our lives has been taken away. It is hard to move forward. We tend to feel much guilt about little things such as smiling, laughing, and living life again. We feel that we should not move forward if our loved one is not with us to move with us. 

The truth is that our loved one would want us to move forward. Our loved one would want us to live life to the fullest. If your loved one was here, what would they say? They would tell us to move forward, laugh, smile and cry—to do whatever we need to do to be happy again. 

No matter where we go in life, our loved one is with us in our hearts. Their smile and laugh lives within us. Sometimes we can look at a son or a daughter and see the smile of our departed one. Those laughs and sweet times will never be forgotten. They are buried deep within our hearts. When we remember those times, we can always smile and know that our loved one is looking down smiling with us. 

A well-known poem by an anonymous writer says, "Those we love don't go away, / They walk beside us every day, / Unseen, unheard, but always near, / Still loved, still missed and very dear." Don't be afraid to move forward. When you take that first, scary step, remember that your loved one is living in your heart to take that step with you, smiling when you smile and crying when you cry. There is no need to feel guilty. No matter where you go, your loved one will always be a part of your life, happy to see you living again. 

—Tracey Anderson, Bereavement Coordinator/Social Work Assistant (Yadkinville Office)

Mountain Valley Hospice & Palliative Care offers free grief support to the community at large. For more information, contact us today at 336-789-2922 (toll-free 1-888-789-2922).

Tags: Grief Support